August 10, 2010

Gearing up and slowing down

Now isn't that just a clever post title? I love when people have clever titles that make me want to read what they've written, so I thought I'd attempt a turn of phrase. happy
Anyway... the reason for the title is that is pretty much exactly where I am right now.  After talking with Steve, I decided that we won't begin schooling again until the 23rd.  It's been on again, off again with some schooling this summer - which in itself is different for us.  The weather has been incredibly warm and humid this summer and it seems that we've been hiding from the weather a lot this year.  Last summer we were staying out of the rain most of the summer.  I suppose that just goes to prove that God likes to mix it up.
I'm going to spend the next few weeks trying to get my house in order - quite literally - and spending time just being 'still'.  (Psalm 46:10)   I've felt for quite a while that God is trying to to tell me or show me something important for the 'next thing' here.  I haven't the faintest idea what it may be, but I also have felt lately that there is just too much NOISE in my life for me to be able to hear Him effectively.  I know He is a patient God, He knows I really DO want to hear and listen and be obedient.  So I'm going to try to be intentional in my listening.  Focus on my immediate priorities of family, home, school prep.... and listening.
Now before anyone thinks that I'm a nutcase and hear voices in my head that are going to tell me something crazy.... don't worry!  That is NOT what I mean when I say that I'm waiting to hear from God.  While I know that there are people who claim to hear an audible voice from heaven - I am not in that camp.  I think ... and God knows me best... He would know that I'd be doubtful of audible voices.  I can be a skeptic of many things.  I think it is pretty amazing how God knows exactly how to communicate with each of us in a way we can hear if we are paying attention.
For me, generally, God speaks to me through repetition.  Maybe I'm slow to catch on and He knows I need to see/hear things a few times (or a LOT of times) over to really get it. happy  I have been doing more reading this summer and have finished one Bible study and am part way through another.  Have had the opportunity to talk with more people than normal for me - and Steve is very patient as I mull/process things out loud to him and elicit his input and opinions.  God will bring up a theme, a phrase, even specific verses...over and over and over again, in many different places and through people too.  It's pretty amazing when the light-bulb finally comes on for me to see what He is putting before me.  I don't always understand where it is going, but I can really feel in my heart that there is something that I'm supposed to pay attention to or focus on or just be ready for the next thing now that I've gotten the first part. 
So... that is the slowing down part that really needs to happen. I desperately don't want to miss whatever the next thing is and I'm convinced that my own 'busy-ness' can be a hindrance to hearing God in my life. 
And the gearing up?  Well, that relates to my home and the kids and school prep.  We are still working toward the simplifying and being to busy is not conducive to that.  Like Steve says - stuff has to LEAVE the house to make it less cluttered. So that is a goal.  And the kids need some close time - not hovering/smothering... just time to 'be' and enjoy and learn together.  We need to work together on some individual goals for each of them for the coming year.  I need to get a bit more planning set up for the beginning of the fall, hunting down books, etc.  It's all good. 
It seems funny that in this culture of more/hurry/rush, I find the most joy in the stop/stay/less of my life.  God loves me.  Steve loves me.  My kids love me.  I really have all I need and more.  I am so very blessed and need to be mindful of it all.
Blessings on the journey~