Late October

All photos by my amazing husband Steve

 I love the fall - and living here in the Monadnock region of NH means that for most of this season we live in a picture postcard of swirling leaves and amazing color.

It is a time when - as a friend stated - God pulls out his easel and paints amazing pictures for our enjoyment.

It is also a time of change, reflection and sometimes quiet introspection.  These things can be good or they can be terrifying - sometimes they are a combination of both.

I'm missing dear friends... learning new things... finding new rhythms for my days... some things cause my heart to ache, some are exhilarating and others exhausting and emotionally draining.

My last two children are both in college full-time locally - so commuting to school, and working part-time jobs which means our family dinner time together is sporadic at best.  And keeping track of who is where and when is often a good trick. We are four people sharing 3 vehicles.

For the first time in almost 20 years I have a job.  I'm learning - or trying to re-learn - how to balance being home and being at work... and trying to figure out if this is a good thing for me.  I'm learning new things with my quilting and am tremendously excited about my new studio and machines and the potential they bring to my passion of fabric & thread.

I trust completely that the Lord knows exactly what is needful in my life and will give and take and move as I pour out my heart to him and wait on His providential hand. Unfortunately that waiting is a hard, hard test for me... but He is faithful so I'm trying to be obedient and follow His lead.

Wishing you all blessings on the journey~

Right now ... (a thankfulness post)

Right now I am thankful for the truth of scripture in our lives.  God's word doesn't change and His truth endures forever!

Hand-made sign that now hangs in our living room.
I bought this years ago in support of a mission trip - scripture supporting the spread of Jesus.

Right now I am thankful for the quiet sounds of chickens pecking around outside and 2/3 of our cats watching them from the window by my desk.

Saffron (Orange) and Gypsy (Black)

Right now I am thankful for Steve's job that provides for our family and allows him to work from home two days each week.  Also for the jobs the kids have that give them spending money, hard work that teaches them things and builds their muscles as well.

Right now I am thankful for ....

• my washer/dryer and the ability to do laundry daily if needed.
• clean, running water and electricity that are reliable
• air conditioning in summer and heat in winter
• my gardens and the ability to grow things - both to eat and just to be pretty
• my family and that we laugh together
• ice cream
• always having projects to work on and the ability to do so
• friends who share my life
• our Pastor and his family that are becoming dear friends
• our church that is growing us in many ways
• vehicles that work reliably and are safe
• grown children that come to visit fairly often
• teens that are respectful, responsible, smart, fun young adults
• pets that add love and fur to our lives
• every good gift that God bestows

Right now I am thankful that I know beyond all doubt that I serve a Savior who loves me and will never leave me.  That God is Sovereign King over all things and holds our future secure in spite of the changing winds of this life.  

Right now I am thankful... and that is a very good thing indeed!

Blessings on the journey~

Chapter 7 Lines

Chapter 7  Community is worth fighting for: Conflict

"Communities need tensions if they are to grow and deepen. Tensions come from conflicts...  A tension or difficulty can signal the approach of a new grace of God. But it has to be looked at wisely and humanly. " ~Jean Vanier

p 127  There is no greater challenge in building community than to master the art of handling anger and conflict.  ..we must consider how important this topic is in God's eyes. It is both remarkable and appalling that by and large in churches today, we are not scandalized by broken relationships and chronic enmity between people.  We are not scandalized by lack of love.
But Jesus is.

p 128  We have been invited into the Fellowship of the Trinity. When we violate oneness, when we contribute to relational brokenness, it doesn't just affect us and the other person.  We are contributing to the destruction of that which is most prized by God and was purchased by him at greatest cost - the oneness of the Trinitarian community.

p 130  Matthew 18:15 may be the single most violated of all the instructions Jesus gave the human race.

p 131  To be alive means to be in conflict.  It's part of the dance of the porcupines. People may not be normal, but conflict surely is - at least in our world.

p 132  Interestingly, while Jesus tells his hearers they should take the responsibility to set things right if the other person has sinned, in another setting (Matt 5:23-24) he tells his hearers to take the first step if they are the ones in the wrong.  Jesus puts the burden on you in both cases.
Why?  Because people who value community are people who own responsibility to deal with relational breakdowns.

p 132  "Go" Jesus says. Take action. Don't let resentment fester.

p 133  Anger exists to tell you something is wrong and to move you to action.  Anger exists so you will be motivated to make it go away.  However, remember Proverbs 14:17 and Ephesians 4:26.

p 134-135 Causes of our anger? Fear? Frustration? Hurt? What outcome do we want? to win? to hurt someone?

p 136  Sometimes you should become angry. However even then you still must decide how to express your anger.

p 138 Conflict is inevitable. Resentment is optional.

p 139  The need for sensitivity is one of the most important - and often misunderstood - aspects of healthy anger management.

p 141 The simplest guideline is to approach the other people the way you would want to be approached in their place.

p 142  We must speak truth in love - clearly.

p 143  The goal in conflict resolution is not to win or score points - it's reconciliation.  Your aim should be to restore the relationship.  Reconciliation is rarely simple and almost never quick.

p 144  Direct confrontation doesn't always do good.  Sometimes it escalates the conflict. Sometimes it leads to violence. Confrontation can do tremendous damage. Then we need a miracle.  God created one.  It's called forgiveness - that's in the next chapter.

And now we wait (and pack!)

Wow!  So much has happened in the beginning of 2013 here.  God continues to amaze us with His provision and timing... even when my faith is small, He shows up big.  Guess He really meant that mustard seed thing. ;-)

We are now just one week from our closing date on our new home.  I am still completely stunned at how God has moved and answered prayer.  Over and over and over again.
The most recent example of this was during the end of last week and then the beginning of this week.  We'd had a roof/leak issue in the home inspection here -  that had been addressed a few weeks ago and yet our buyers were not satisfied.  They requested that we have a siding person come and further evaluate the situation to address this issue.  So... I did what any normal human being would do... I panicked and THEN I prayed.  Stupid ...I know. (head hanging in shame)
After praying, I called the installer who had done the siding work for us.  He was in FL.  But was returning to NH on Sunday and would be in touch with us on Monday to see what he could do.  On Monday morning he called me and came out to take a look.  Well... sort of.  He came out and stood on the deck looking at the siding and said "It's fine."  Not exactly what we had in mind.
I again had a knot in my stomach and Steve reminded me that we know God is in control and then he told me to call a friend of ours.  This friend is a contractor who we know has done some really great work including siding, etc.  So I called him and explained what we needed.  In God's perfect timing - he was available to come after lunch on Monday.  He and his son came out, climbed up and checked things out.  He is a smart guy and after some time on the roof checking things out discovered something that he felt should be addressed and took care of it for us.
There again was God's timing and provision.  Our friend sent me a write up of what he'd done for work and we sent it off to our buyers.

And of course we have this one last snow-storm here in Merrimack.  And now we are packing and waiting.  The stacks of boxes and furniture continue to grow as we move everything from the various parts of the house into the living-room & dining room to facilitate loading the truck next week.  Tomorrow we have a plan to rent a trailer and move all the outdoor stuff (picnic table, deck swing, motorcycle) out to our dear friends' house in Temple to store for the week.  Thankfully God is again providing and the forecast is for sun and warm-ish temperatures.

I was reminded this week - from our contractor friend - that God is good all the time even when we may not understand why things are happening in a certain way.
It is SO easy to offer praise and thanksgiving when things are going well.  The truer test is when things go south... would I still praise God if the roofing issues were BAD?  Would I still praise Him if the deal on the house fell apart?
So desperately I want to say that I would and I pray that it is true.  God knows my heart - He alone knows the depths of my desire to be useful for His kingdom and to always only bring Him glory.  He also knows how often I fall so far short and fail.  I doubt, I complain, I whine and wallow.  Yet when I repent... He is faithful to forgive and set me again on the right path.  That narrow way that leads to His righteousness.  I am so grateful for this truth!  This I will state boldly- that God is faithful and true and willing that we should ALL come to Him and repent and be saved.  Not because we deserve it - just because He loves us. 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
~1 John 1:9

Blessings on the journey~

Change like a deluge

There have been quite a few changes in our lives recently.  Some of it has felt like standing beneath this waterfall and being told to catch every drop... with a Dixie-cup.  It hasn't been easy... it hasn't been a lot of fun most of the time... but God is so faithful that I'm beginning to feel like the waterfall might be looking more like this now.

Still changing and coming at us pretty quickly, but not unmanageable by God's grace and not feeling like I'm drowning - which is such a gift!
I am looking forward to the coming months... seeing this in my future....

Because God's grace flows like a river over my life and I'm going with that flow on the greatest adventure.  I trust the Guide... because of His promise.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."~ Jeremiah 29:11

Blessings on the journey~

Gearing up and slowing down

Now isn't that just a clever post title? I love when people have clever titles that make me want to read what they've written, so I thought I'd attempt a turn of phrase.
Anyway... the reason for the title is that is pretty much exactly where I am right now.  After talking with Steve, I decided that we won't begin schooling again until the 23rd.  It's been on again, off again with some schooling this summer - which in itself is different for us.  The weather has been incredibly warm and humid this summer and it seems that we've been hiding from the weather a lot this year.  Last summer we were staying out of the rain most of the summer.  I suppose that just goes to prove that God likes to mix it up.
I'm going to spend the next few weeks trying to get my house in order - quite literally - and spending time just being 'still'.  (Psalm 46:10)   I've felt for quite a while that God is trying to to tell me or show me something important for the 'next thing' here.  I haven't the faintest idea what it may be, but I also have felt lately that there is just too much NOISE in my life for me to be able to hear Him effectively.  I know He is a patient God, He knows I really DO want to hear and listen and be obedient.  So I'm going to try to be intentional in my listening.  Focus on my immediate priorities of family, home, school prep.... and listening.
Now before anyone thinks that I'm a nutcase and hear voices in my head that are going to tell me something crazy.... don't worry!  That is NOT what I mean when I say that I'm waiting to hear from God.  While I know that there are people who claim to hear an audible voice from heaven - I am not in that camp.  I think ... and God knows me best... He would know that I'd be doubtful of audible voices.  I can be a skeptic of many things.  I think it is pretty amazing how God knows exactly how to communicate with each of us in a way we can hear if we are paying attention.
For me, generally, God speaks to me through repetition.  Maybe I'm slow to catch on and He knows I need to see/hear things a few times (or a LOT of times) over to really get it.   I have been doing more reading this summer and have finished one Bible study and am part way through another.  Have had the opportunity to talk with more people than normal for me - and Steve is very patient as I mull/process things out loud to him and elicit his input and opinions.  God will bring up a theme, a phrase, even specific verses...over and over and over again, in many different places and through people too.  It's pretty amazing when the light-bulb finally comes on for me to see what He is putting before me.  I don't always understand where it is going, but I can really feel in my heart that there is something that I'm supposed to pay attention to or focus on or just be ready for the next thing now that I've gotten the first part. 
So... that is the slowing down part that really needs to happen. I desperately don't want to miss whatever the next thing is and I'm convinced that my own 'busy-ness' can be a hindrance to hearing God in my life. 
And the gearing up?  Well, that relates to my home and the kids and school prep.  We are still working toward the simplifying and being to busy is not conducive to that.  Like Steve says - stuff has to LEAVE the house to make it less cluttered. So that is a goal.  And the kids need some close time - not hovering/smothering... just time to 'be' and enjoy and learn together.  We need to work together on some individual goals for each of them for the coming year.  I need to get a bit more planning set up for the beginning of the fall, hunting down books, etc.  It's all good. 
It seems funny that in this culture of more/hurry/rush, I find the most joy in the stop/stay/less of my life.  God loves me.  Steve loves me.  My kids love me.  I really have all I need and more.  I am so very blessed and need to be mindful of it all.
Blessings on the journey~