Rambling Thoughts: Introversion, Food and Anxiety

Gypsy - my cat - the most introverted of our three cats

I've had a conversation with two different friends in recent weeks (both self-identify as at least mildly introverted) - the conversation stemmed from my personal observation and belief that people who are very extroverted/social do not or can not comprehend those of us who are NOT social and prefer to not be in groups of people in a social way.  It's as though they believe something is wrong with us and that if we would just try harder and do more/different/insert-this-particular social thing(s), we would enjoy it.  My personal experience is that this is not the case.

There have also been many, many conversations with my long-suffering (but mostly equally introverted) husband about this sort of thing lately.  I am so very thankful that he shares my love of being at home.

Recently I'm finding that my personal threshold for social things has lowered sharply.  And by lowered sharply I mean plummeted off a cliff to a bottomless cavern of "NOOOOOOO!"

We started attending our church a little over a year ago.  During this first year we have really tried to stretch outside of our comfort zone and do things.  We've attended meetings, functions, pot-lucks, game night, and even managed to have dinner with other families a few times.  Most of these things have been what I would consider a high-level success.  Meaning I didn't hyperventilate or cry or cancel - even when I was stressed out about attending, etc.

In spite of my gut reaction (mostly fear and dread) to an announcement or invitation, I have tried to be brave and go and do.  At this point, I am considering that perhaps that exerted effort was not wise on my part... or that quite possibly I have reached the expiration of my '12 month free trial' of social interaction and there is no 'renewal' button.

The friends we've been making and the people at our church are lovely and wonderful.  They are truly kind and friendly and I honestly do enjoy them  - in limited doses and one-on-one situations.  Really! Coffee visit with one or two?  Absolutely! No stress & no problem.

When it gets more complex than that - my food anxiety begins and my social aversion kicks in.  I don't really like food - well... I like some foods... that I make, that don't involve too many ingredients together, and things touching each other, and absolutely ONLY are things I can identify and have eaten before.  Or things that are only chocolate or ice cream in familiar flavors.
If things combine more than a few people AND food, I am instantly well outside my comfort zone.  This zone feels like it is shrinking daily right now and it is seriously looming as a perfectly valid reason to consider a move to an isolated place and become a hermit.

It is a very difficult thing to try and let people know that I really do want to be friends, but only in very small and controlled situations can I be mildly social & comfortable enough to not put on a mask of 'everything is fine' but I am panicking inside.  I'm struggling to figure out how to obey the command of scripture to put other's needs (to be social, to eat together, etc) ahead of my own need to not have an anxiety attack and cry in public.

I'm sure there is a balance some place, but I haven't quite figured it out yet.  Clearly much more prayer is needed and perhaps a considerable amount of coffee and chocolate as well.

Blessings on the journey~

Big Whoop?

 

Why yes... that is a new whoopie pie that was made just for today's celebration. 

I recently discovered not just one, but TWO cookbooks about making Whoopie Pies.  Who would have thought there'd be even one such thing let alone two.  But two there were and I checked both of them out of the library in search of expanding my abilities in whoopie pie baking/making.
These were actually J's idea and she diligently helped with the filling process.  They were fun to make and everyone seemed to enjoy them at the Independence Day cookout this afternoon.

They are a 'from scratch' recipe chocolate cake with buttercream frosting filling and I think they are better than the other ones I make.  Looking forward to trying out some other recipes from the books.  Now to find some willing taste testers... I'm sure my kids & Steve will be happy to oblige... and there may even be a few willing mouths at church as well. :-)

May God bless America!  May we never forget why our country was formed and all those who have fought & died to grant us our many freedoms.  And may we never take for granted any blessings we enjoy.

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. ~2 Chronicles 7:14

Something New for New Year's Even

My beloved husband really likes cheesecake.
He doesn't get to have it very often as we seldom order dessert when we are out to eat and the only person to ever bake cheesecake for him is my mother.... until now!

He encouraged me to give it a try, so I did.  Behold!  Chocolate Cappuccino Cheesecake! 
I had a small slice... I think it's 'okay', but I've never eaten cheesecake before and don't know what to think.  Actually, I have a psychological issue with cold cheese in any form so my taste-buds are probably malfunctioning. :-)  Steve assures me that it is very good!

Happy New Year!

Braiding Bread

A while ago I found this lovely post at Good (Cheap) Eats, with an embedded tutorial video.  Sometimes these things are strange (not this site personally - but in general), but this was short and easy to follow - perfectly helpful!
I've made Challah Bread before and even attempted to braid the loaves, but they often come out lopsided and strange looking.  Which doesn't impact the taste at all, but I like pretty bread. :-)
So I decided to try this new recipe and follow the video directions and see how it would come out.

 Here is the bread prior to baking.

The braiding wasn't difficult and it seemed to come out pretty even.  I brushed the top with a egg white wash prior to baking.

Here is the finished bread.

Given that egg bread is pretty dense and has a fair amount of sugar in it, I categorize this as a 'sweet' bread.  I cut this round into quarters and then sliced it to make french toast for dinner one night.  Marvelous!

Blessings on the journey,

Sunday Morning Breakfast

Who doesn't love something fresh from the oven for breakfast on a Sunday morning?
This morning I was awake early - listening to the birds announcing loudly that the sun was up.  So I thought I'd bake up something for breakfast.  I decided to try out a Cinnamon Crumble Cake recipe from The Frugal Girl-Kristen.  She has such amazing recipes!
It was quick & easy to make and everyone loved it! 

New Dinner Hit

In my quest to be more blissfully domestic I have been gaining ground in my kitchen culinary adventures.  Fancy verbiage for I'm getting better with new recipes that people will actually eat in my family.
Last night I attempted calzones for the first time ever and they were a success!  I used my normal pizza dough recipe (I have been making home-made pizza for several months now) and cut the dough into 4 chunks before rolling it out - not too thin - filling it and crimping the edges.  For the kids I made just regular sauce/cheese - sort of a pizza sandwich. 

Steve & I enjoyed BBQ chicken w/ carmelized onions & cheese.  It was very yummy! 
And as a bonus - because I made 4 of them (2 each variety) - all 5 of us had dinner last night and I have 1 each left in the freezer for when I am away so the "boys" will have an easy dinner one night.