Random Brain Ramblings

I haven't posted much of late as I've been sort of in a low spot in many ways and have had trouble pulling my brain out of the fog for more than is required for just general life a lot of the time.
We've had a very long stretch of cycling snow storms and freezing cold temperatures and that has caused it's own issues as well as creating a certain amount of drab feelings and cabin fever alternatingly (is that really a word?).

We've had frozen heat pipes, a giant frost heave just outside the garage door, the chicken coop is at a definite angle - probably also due to frost heaves, we've had ice dams and leaking into the house, and as of yesterday, a different heating pipe has begun to leak and the plumber can't come until next week Tuesday.  I've had a weird tendonitis thing in my right hand/wrist that has made life very challenging and has completely thwarted my self-therapy of sewing.  The dog had surgery and then a weird doggie vertigo episode that has resulted in lots of vet visits and bills.

All this is fairly negative on the surface, however there have been many good things and bright spots as well.
There are things to be thankful for even when things are hard:

• After my temper-tantrum with God back in September (mom-camp), we started attending church in Peterborough (Monadnock Congregational Church) and that has been a tremendous blessing and source of peace.  Steve and I even attended membership class with the Pastor and are planning to become members during the month of March (Lord willing).
• We've had some rough spots with friends and family that have required us to speak up and step out of our normal non-confrontational lifestyle to deal with uncomfortable issues - this has resulted in shifts in relationships that prayerfully God is putting on the right track again.
• Almost all of the house issues have resolved - mostly - without any really dreadful situations or too horrendous of expenses.  And we are really evaluating what is needful for projects and home improvements both long and short-term.  I do see having to paint the family room this year after the water leaking in left water spots on the ceiling, but that was sort of needful anyway.
• My chiropractor has made great improvement in my hand/wrist with a new technique.
• Today it is 40 degrees and the sun is peaking out!
• The kids are healthy and doing well with their school work and we are working on our plans for next year including starting to look at colleges for Jess.
• Ben is learning to drive.
• I'm reading several books right now.
• Steve built Jess some fun built-in bookshelves in her room.

• Steve is working on building me a design wall for my sewing room.
• My chickens are all still laying and seem to be surviving their first winter okay.
• My new cat Gypsy is settling in nicely and loves to sit on my desk with me.
• We have had some great silly laugh-fests when we get a bit stir crazy.
• I've got lots of projects to work on once my hand heals enough to get back to sewing.
• There is prayer meeting on Thursday evenings at church and it's wonderful.
• There is coffee and chocolate and fudge in my world.
• I have a husband who is truly amazing, loves me so and cares for me completely, and we've just celebrated 19 years of marriage!
• My kids are awesome, smart, funny and very helpful.
• I have dear friends to share with, laugh with and who will keep me in prayer.
• I know that Jesus loves me and will carry me through the toughest things by His grace & mercy.

Blessings on the journey~

Chapter 7 Lines

Chapter 7  Community is worth fighting for: Conflict

"Communities need tensions if they are to grow and deepen. Tensions come from conflicts...  A tension or difficulty can signal the approach of a new grace of God. But it has to be looked at wisely and humanly. " ~Jean Vanier

p 127  There is no greater challenge in building community than to master the art of handling anger and conflict.  ..we must consider how important this topic is in God's eyes. It is both remarkable and appalling that by and large in churches today, we are not scandalized by broken relationships and chronic enmity between people.  We are not scandalized by lack of love.
But Jesus is.

p 128  We have been invited into the Fellowship of the Trinity. When we violate oneness, when we contribute to relational brokenness, it doesn't just affect us and the other person.  We are contributing to the destruction of that which is most prized by God and was purchased by him at greatest cost - the oneness of the Trinitarian community.

p 130  Matthew 18:15 may be the single most violated of all the instructions Jesus gave the human race.

p 131  To be alive means to be in conflict.  It's part of the dance of the porcupines. People may not be normal, but conflict surely is - at least in our world.

p 132  Interestingly, while Jesus tells his hearers they should take the responsibility to set things right if the other person has sinned, in another setting (Matt 5:23-24) he tells his hearers to take the first step if they are the ones in the wrong.  Jesus puts the burden on you in both cases.
Why?  Because people who value community are people who own responsibility to deal with relational breakdowns.

p 132  "Go" Jesus says. Take action. Don't let resentment fester.

p 133  Anger exists to tell you something is wrong and to move you to action.  Anger exists so you will be motivated to make it go away.  However, remember Proverbs 14:17 and Ephesians 4:26.

p 134-135 Causes of our anger? Fear? Frustration? Hurt? What outcome do we want? to win? to hurt someone?

p 136  Sometimes you should become angry. However even then you still must decide how to express your anger.

p 138 Conflict is inevitable. Resentment is optional.

p 139  The need for sensitivity is one of the most important - and often misunderstood - aspects of healthy anger management.

p 141 The simplest guideline is to approach the other people the way you would want to be approached in their place.

p 142  We must speak truth in love - clearly.

p 143  The goal in conflict resolution is not to win or score points - it's reconciliation.  Your aim should be to restore the relationship.  Reconciliation is rarely simple and almost never quick.

p 144  Direct confrontation doesn't always do good.  Sometimes it escalates the conflict. Sometimes it leads to violence. Confrontation can do tremendous damage. Then we need a miracle.  God created one.  It's called forgiveness - that's in the next chapter.

Chapter 3 - Lines

Chapter 3: The Fellowship of the Mat: True Friendship

p 46  Psychologist Alan McGinnis notes that rule number one for entering into deep friendships sounds deceptively simple: Assign top priority to your relationships.

p 46  If you think you can fit deep community into the cracks of an overloaded schedule - think again. Wise people do not try to microwave friendship, parenting, or marriage.

p 48 Jean Vanier writes, There is no ideal community. Community is made up of people with all their richness, but also with their weakness and poverty, of people who accept and forgive each other, who are vulnerable with each other. Humility and trust are more at the foundation of community than perfection.

p 52 There is a world of difference between being friendly to someone because they're useful to you and being someone's friend.

p 55  Do you have any idea what the faith of one person can do for a friend?

p 57  Paul Waddell writes, "In spiritual friendship, the principal good is a mutual love for Christ and a desire to grow together in Christ. This is what distinguishes spiritual friendships from other relationships."

p 59  Dallas Willard ~ "To understand Jesus' teachings, we must realize that deep in our orientations of our spirit we cannot have one posture toward God and a different one toward other people."

p 61  There is no gift like the gift of community.