Goodbye to 2015

Created by my ever talented husband - Steve

2015 has been a quick year (at least it feels that way today) and full of milestone events.

In no particular order - these were some highlights:

• Eldest child (Stephanie) turned 30 and got married!  (note - we do not feel old enough to say that out loud!)
• Second child (Alec) turned 25 - see note on eldest child - same applies!
• Third child (Jessica) turned 18 - ditto!
• Youngest child (Benjamin) turned 16 and got his driver's license - ditto, ditto!
• We vacationed in DC for a week - big road trip!
• Steve continued to work from home as much as possible - we thank God for this enormous blessing in our lives.
• Steve & I became members of our local church (Monadnock Congregational in Peterborough)
• We are all making new friends in our church family and are continuing to be blessed
• My parents were in a car accident (they were hit by a garbage truck on the highway!) that resulted in the totaling their SUV and a few injuries but mostly they are fine and we are very thankful for God's protection!  
• My parents have found  a church that preaches scripture and they are happy - another blessing.
• Stephanie and her husband, Kyle, both found new jobs and have relocated to Maine.
• Jessica was accepted to all 3 colleges where she applied for next fall and received some awesome scholarship offers.  She has selected her first choice school and will be attending Franklin Pierce University in the fall of 2016!
• Both Jess and Ben are able to take advantage of early college classes - both online and on campus locally - to accelerate their education and amp up their learning challenges.  
• I've been able to do a lot of fun sewing and quilting - even finding an outlet to sell a few things!
  

All-in-all it's been a pretty good year in the grand scope.  There have been hard times of course - this is life!  But we have Jesus and we have each other - with that combination life is do-able in spite of whatever may come.

Praying that our Gracious and Loving Heavenly Father will bless each of us with all we need to glorify Him in the coming year.  To reach the goals He has designed for us and to grant us peace & joy in the journey!

Welcome 2016..... looking forward to whatever God sends our way as I am confident that He will walk the road with us and give us all we need to cling to Him on the journey!
 

Chapter 7 Lines

Chapter 7  Community is worth fighting for: Conflict

"Communities need tensions if they are to grow and deepen. Tensions come from conflicts...  A tension or difficulty can signal the approach of a new grace of God. But it has to be looked at wisely and humanly. " ~Jean Vanier

p 127  There is no greater challenge in building community than to master the art of handling anger and conflict.  ..we must consider how important this topic is in God's eyes. It is both remarkable and appalling that by and large in churches today, we are not scandalized by broken relationships and chronic enmity between people.  We are not scandalized by lack of love.
But Jesus is.

p 128  We have been invited into the Fellowship of the Trinity. When we violate oneness, when we contribute to relational brokenness, it doesn't just affect us and the other person.  We are contributing to the destruction of that which is most prized by God and was purchased by him at greatest cost - the oneness of the Trinitarian community.

p 130  Matthew 18:15 may be the single most violated of all the instructions Jesus gave the human race.

p 131  To be alive means to be in conflict.  It's part of the dance of the porcupines. People may not be normal, but conflict surely is - at least in our world.

p 132  Interestingly, while Jesus tells his hearers they should take the responsibility to set things right if the other person has sinned, in another setting (Matt 5:23-24) he tells his hearers to take the first step if they are the ones in the wrong.  Jesus puts the burden on you in both cases.
Why?  Because people who value community are people who own responsibility to deal with relational breakdowns.

p 132  "Go" Jesus says. Take action. Don't let resentment fester.

p 133  Anger exists to tell you something is wrong and to move you to action.  Anger exists so you will be motivated to make it go away.  However, remember Proverbs 14:17 and Ephesians 4:26.

p 134-135 Causes of our anger? Fear? Frustration? Hurt? What outcome do we want? to win? to hurt someone?

p 136  Sometimes you should become angry. However even then you still must decide how to express your anger.

p 138 Conflict is inevitable. Resentment is optional.

p 139  The need for sensitivity is one of the most important - and often misunderstood - aspects of healthy anger management.

p 141 The simplest guideline is to approach the other people the way you would want to be approached in their place.

p 142  We must speak truth in love - clearly.

p 143  The goal in conflict resolution is not to win or score points - it's reconciliation.  Your aim should be to restore the relationship.  Reconciliation is rarely simple and almost never quick.

p 144  Direct confrontation doesn't always do good.  Sometimes it escalates the conflict. Sometimes it leads to violence. Confrontation can do tremendous damage. Then we need a miracle.  God created one.  It's called forgiveness - that's in the next chapter.

Adventures at Mom Camp

**Long and rambly**

Last weekend I did something totally outside my comfort zone and while it started off pretty rocky, it wound up being okay.
Backing up a bit... a few weeks ago I got a text from a friend (A) inviting me to join her and another friend (L) for a women's retreat weekend at Camp Berea up in Hebron, NH.  This seemed to be perhaps a providential invitation as I'd just recently mentioned to both Steve and L that I was feeling somewhat that I needed a 'camp' experience like the kids enjoyed over the summer to hear from Jesus more clearly.  Steve agreed that I should go, so I signed up and we waited.
The week prior I offered to drive for carpooling - mostly because I like to drive when I go places with other people (other than Steve).  It worked well for both friends because of various family car issues happening at both homes.  It would turn out that God would show how He had a hand in that little decision.
On the designated Friday, we loaded up the car - after Jess helped me get everything to fit in my bags and Ben carried all the luggage for me.   Then I set off to pick up L first before heading over to get A.  At L's we loaded her stuff into the car and after many tears from her youngest child, we set off for the 20 minute drive to A's house.  On the way we talked about how odd it felt to be leaving our families like this and that it somehow seemed 'wrong' to both of us.
At A's, she happily climbed into the backseat after her family helped load things up, and then we were off with a drive of 1.5 hours ahead of us.  We chatted as we drove with both L and I sharing with A our hesitancy about this weekend away and A sharing how she was really in need of this time away.
None of us had ever been to Berea for a women's retreat before this, though I did participate in a week of summer camp there when I was about 8-9 I think.  We arrived with many, many other women at the camp shortly before 5:30 and checked in, got our bags into our assigned cabin and made our way to the dining hall for dinner.
At this point I was already feeling pretty close to completely overwhelmed.  I'd never been to something like this before and had no idea what to expect or what would happen. There were well over 200 women there, we were sharing a double room space with 9 other ladies that we didn't know but who all knew one another.  Dinner was a buffet that was bountiful but by the time we got our food and found a place to sit most of it was cold and unappetizing.  There was a salad bar and chocolate cake - so not a total loss.

After dinner we were supposed to head up to the gym for our first session of the weekend.  On the way up I found a staff person and asked if he could please turn the heat on in our room as it was already really pretty cold and temperatures were supposed to be in the low 30's overnight.
The worship band was Alanna Story and they were very talented and I enjoyed them.  The main speaker for the weekend was Jodi Greenstreet of CrossTrainer's Ministry from Canada.  She was incredibly high energy and obviously very excited about the weekend.
Just before she began to speak, I was suddenly overwhelmed with anxiety and had to leave the gym.  I phoned Steve and paced outside the gym crying while talking with him that I wanted to come home, that this wasn't for me and he tried to talk me off the ledge and calm me down.  He reminded me that I wasn't alone, that L & A were there with me, that I hadn't given it a chance yet, that I'd be fine!  L came out at one point to check on me and grasped my arms whispering "You can't leave me here!"  After I'd calmed down and pulled myself together, I told Steve I'd give it a chance and that I really couldn't leave because I was the driver and I couldn't strand my friends.  There were some jokes made about how someone should have brought a bottle of wine.  After the session was over - and I'd had no more anxiety attacks - I called Steve and told him I'd survived and I'd talk to him tomorrow.  We went to the bookstore and bought travel mugs for coffee and then went and had a snack in the dining hall before bedtime.
I didn't sleep much, it was well after midnight before I was able to fall asleep at all and then I was up every hour checking the clock and praying that God would speed up time so I could go home.  This was definitely not fun and I was not hearing from God or enjoying myself at all.
In the morning one of the options was a guided prayer hike at 7am, we opted to grab coffee in our travel mugs and go get some exercise and spend some time with the Lord.  There was a woman who led the group - maybe 25 of us - up a short hill and along a short ridge line above the camp with several stops to focus on different aspects of prayer.  As I walked I wrestled with God in prayer.  I spent time confessing to God my bad attitude, that I didn't want to be there, then thanking Him for the beauty of the woods and the weather and all the blessings in my life, and confessing more about how disappointed and angry I've been feeling with our current church experience.  After our 45 minutes in the woods it was time to head to breakfast and then to our first session.  Fresh coffee helped to fend off another anxiety attack and I didn't bolt this time though I felt the bad attitude simmering just below the surface.

After our morning session the 3 of us went for a short walk for exercise then we all went to lunch and the afternoon stretched before us with options for seminars or nothingness as we chose.  For most of the afternoon we opted to just hang out in the room and do nothing much at all.  I had brought some hand sewing to work on, so we just sat and chatted and rested.  I had been texting with Jess and she was teasing me about wanting to come home.  Her sense of humor helps a lot in tense times for me.
Finally it was dinner time and it was a themed dinner with costumes, etc.  The 3 of us opted to not participate in the dress-up, but it was interesting to see how all-out some of the ladies had gone to be 'by the sea' for the evening.  Dinner was actually really good and we all enjoyed it, then there was a comedienne that provided entertainment before our evening session.  She was really funny and we laughed and laughed.
I talked to Jess briefly on the phone before the evening session and she encouraged me to "learn something about Jesus" with her usual dose of humor for her home-sick mama.  Then it was time for worship band to begin.  The music started and we all stood and sang a few songs and then they asked us to sit down.  One of the women began to speak - I'm not even sure all that she said only I could feel my heart beginning to crack.  Then they began to sing a song they'd written.

All around me women began to cry and A began to softly sob beside me.  I sat in my chair wrestling with my pride, fighting my heart.  At last I let go and fell to my knees in prayer and tears.  It was one of the few times in my life where I felt myself fall into God in all the raw emotion and need for His touch on my heart & soul.  The tears fell hot from my eyes as I sobbed and prayed.  At last I was able to quiet and sit back into my chair.  After a few more songs, Jodi came to speak and I heard the story of Peter & Jesus in a fresh way and found myself relaxing and relating as she taught about some of the ways Peter had failed and tried again, over and over.
After the session, A went straight to bed and L and I went for snack and then a walk around camp in the mild weather.  Again it was well after midnight before sleep would come, but at least this time I felt calmer and was able to snatch about 2 hours at a time between wakeful fits.  I was up early and we were packed and ready to go before breakfast.  The 3 of us grabbed coffee and sat by the water waiting for breakfast. We ate and then loaded all our things into the car before our final session.

The morning opened with communion and song.  It was beautiful and an awesome experience.  Probably one of the best times of communion I've enjoyed in many years.  I felt close to Jesus and open to hearing Him speak through scripture as Jodi shared her last message with us.  It wasn't earth shattering, I didn't hear voices from Heaven or anything.  Just honesty from the scripture about how we meet Jesus in our present moment, not counting on anything more than this moment and not holding or comparing to anything or anyone else from prior moments.  An excellent reminder and a push to engage in the present in new ways with fresh eyes and open hands.
As we drove home we shared and talked, laughed and cried a bit.  It was a good time of growing our friendship and I was able to honestly thank A for inviting me to go.
I had written Steve an email on Saturday telling him what I think sums up the experience. I'd wanted to come to a women's retreat because so many people I know have gone at different times and raved about the experience.  I felt that I needed to see for myself so I'd know if I was really missing some deep spiritual experience with Jesus that could only happen away from my family and my normal life.  Turns out that the answer to that is - for me - no.
I did encounter Jesus of course, but I encounter Jesus every day and even every moment if I'm paying attention enough.  The experience taught me that I really hate being away from my family.  I don't like crowds, I'm not comfortable with strangers and I really prefer to sleep in my own bed and eat what I choose.  Time with my friends is really wonderful and I hope we can find ways to get together more often at home.
In looking back at the weekend, I can mostly say that I'm glad I had the experience, but I won't do it again.  If I could have escaped on Friday night, I'd have done it in a blink and this is where it was proved that God uses things we don't expect.  I was trapped by my sense of responsibility to my friends because I drove and was forced to walk a weekend road I'd much rather not walk.  But God doesn't waste any experience in our lives and I suppose in hind-sight the time away brought me to my knees over some hurts and anger I've been holding onto and God was able to work those out of me.  For His forgiveness and grace I am always thankful.

Many thanks to A and L for their amazing patience and gracious kindness during my anxiety attacks and dramatic fits.

Blessings on the journey~

Jesus is Never Snarky (or... an apology)

I offer sincere apologies to anyone who reads my Facebook posts and was upset by one post from yesterday (that has since been deleted).  I am truly sorry for my choice of words yesterday and have already had face time with the Lord over it, so now I'm doing the electronic version for anyone who cares.
Yesterday in a snit of self-righteousness and frustration I posted something on Facebook that was definitely snarky in tone and probably rude.  One of those motivations is definitely a sin that I'm continually having to struggle with and repent of and the other... hmmm... have to get back to you on that.
I read an amazing blog post by Teri Lynne and was both inspired and irritated.  You can read the post she wrote here.  She's pretty awesome a lot and I generally find helpful insights in her writing.
So.. back to my response.  I was inspired because God has been really impressing on me over the last year or so that we don't have to be some super-saint or have some amazing talent to be useful for Him.  We just have to be willing and say 'yes' when an opportunity presents itself.  Please note that I do not think that these opportunities arise by accident - GOD is planning all this - it says so in scripture "For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10.
I was irritated because I'm struggling with a nasty funk of feeling like there are lots of fat sheep in our churches being only consumers without doing anything or sacrificing anything (Dietrich Bonhoeffer has been in my head lately too).  I'm really sure that Jesus got his hands dirty when He walked this earth and maybe we don't actually have to get physically dirty to serve for His kingdom... but we have to get out of the chairs.  Even in small ways - like Teri Lynne talked about.
So.  I apologize for being snarky and rude. 
But I do NOT apologize for the feelings that I'm wrestling with about how to live a better story for Jesus, and to DO what I say I believe.  I don't want to waste this short life that God has given me (yes - John Piper is in my head too) -  when I can choose to do something that may somehow make a difference.

What will you choose?
Joshua 24:15 "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”


Blessings on the journey~

A precious child from Tanzania anyone?

Follow the bloggers on the TRIP... read the words... see the photos... feel deeply. 

 Photo credit Keely Scott for Compassion International

Then pray about how God may want you to sponsor a precious little one in Tanzania (or elsewhere in the world) and change lives... because Jesus said we are to love our neighbors as ourselves.  And Tanzania is almost your neighborhood... right?  Just like that Samaritan in Jesus' parable... be a neighbor and love.


 Blessings on the journey~

Some reading

So... I've been doing some reading... not a news flash to anyone who knows me.  I read a lot ~ not as much as some but way more than many.
In the past few weeks I've been reading these:

Which I mentioned here and can be purchased here.

bought from here

bought from here

J has also read the last two (Interrupted & 7) and has loved them to the point of not really wanting me to loan them out because she wants to re-read them.

The focus of all of these is living and loving like Jesus did and as He commanded - up close and personal with "the least of these".  It is about living our faith (see the book of James) and walking the walk that matches the talk.  Not the typical American version of Christianity in most places and not an easy thing for most of us living the average American life.  I have been so impacted that it is hard to sort out at the moment and find my family on a journey to really figure out what Jesus is calling us to do/change/be.
This also follows with the book Radical that I read last year. 

We have begun a family study of the book of James - yep, we're our own 'small group'.  I'm anxious to see how God is going to use this time together in Scripture, the books, much prayer, and some willing hands & feet.
The journey may not be swift or comfortable, but following Jesus is absolutely worth it and I know that we will all be different moving forward.  Jesus loves us far too much to leave us as He found us.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

That sounds like a promise to me... and I am seeking with all my heart.

Blessings on the journey~

Snow and other weirdness

These are photos from my front yard this morning... crazy!  I was NOT looking for a snowstorm this week, in fact, I have a catalog for garden seeds on my nightstand right now and had begun entertaining thoughts of attempting to grow things again this summer. *sigh*  In time I suppose... all this white stuff has to melt soon.. right?
It has been sort of a weird week here in a few ways - not just because of the crazy snow.
Steve and I celebrated our 16th year of wedded wonderful-ness on the 29th of February.  We only have an actual day on the calendar once in 4 years, so this was big.  Normally I would be spoiled with some amazing present from this incredible man who loves me so much, this year we have had some other family financial obligations that trumped frivolous expressions of love (like kitten leg surgery and a new car engine).  I guess this is what happens to old married people. :-)   It is all good - our family come first always and I already have more than enough of everything... I am most blessed among women.
We spent the day together as a family - made it a school holiday for the kids and enjoyed a nice day.  We even had a lovely dinner out together while the kids were at youth group.  I don't remember the last time we sat in a mostly empty restaurant and just talked for an hour after dinner.  It was really great.  Of course the fact that it was a Wednesday off of normal life, and then we had the snowstorm come through and messed up our 'normal' again on Thursday sort of has me all off-kilter now.

Most of the weirdness has been internal for me - emotional & spiritual - as I'm struggling to find some answers and direction with some heavy things in my life. I long desperately to be useful for God... to have my heart broken for the things that break His heart... to serve & love the way Jesus does (and did during his ministry).  To not just have a vertical faith - but to live my faith horizontally.  I want to be a conduit for God's grace in this broken world.

I'm reading a few books at the moment and two of them are about trusting God.  One is for my regular ladies bible study group on Monday nights and the other is part of a daily devotional series I bought through Vision Forum.  Both are excellent.
Today in the devotional book, the author shared 3 scriptures that really struck me.

"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.  He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." ~Deuteronomy 8:2-3

I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.  ~ Job 42:2

Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful. ~James 5:11
 
And then during my regular prayer time and scripture reading I came across this one:
I know, O Lord, that the way of man is not in himself,
    that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps.
Correct me, O Lord, but in justice;
    not in your anger, lest you bring me to nothing. ~Jeremiah 10:23-24

I know God is trying to teach me some hard things... and I know that I am often slow to hear/learn.  I'm very grateful for His infinite mercy & amazing patience with me as I struggle to sort out lessons, truth and direction.  I pray from the depths of my heart for wisdom, discernment and clarity.  I trust Him and know that he has a Sovereign plan.  I long to be part of His Kingdom work in my everyday and anxiously await more and more of Him being poured into my heart/soul/mind so that I might be more like Jesus.


Blessings on the journey~

Kisses From Katie

Oh my heart....
A dear friend sent me a link to this blog (Kisses from Katie)... J & I watched the video on the sidebar (Katie's story) and my heart ached to be like this amazing young woman!   It is the same ache I had last year when I read the book Radical by David Platt.  J was immediately fascinated with the story.

I have wish-listed Katie's book.  I'm sure my parents will not be happy when J reads it.... her heart is already soaring to other lands when she reads missionary biographies. God is going to send my girl someplace...I'm certain of it.  This is just the sort of story J loves... and I think... the story she dreams of living for Jesus.

A Prayer by Francis of Assissi

I had downloaded a free book for my kindle called "Prayers for Today" and it has many good things in it.  This morning I came across this prayer attributed to Francis of Assissi (1181-1226) and was touched. 
I did pray this and acknowledged before the Throne of Grace that I was not quite sincere in that I do long to be comforted & loved, yet I also know that Christ alone will be the fullest source of those things in my life.

 

Photo is a rose window in the Church of Santa Chiara, consecrated in 1265,
across the town from Saint Francis Basilica.

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace,

That where there is hatred, may I bring love;

That where there is wrong, may I bring a spirit of forgiveness;

That where there is discord, may I bring harmony;

That where there is error, may I bring truth;

That where there is doubt, may I bring faith;

That where there is despair, may I bring hope;

That where there are shadows, may I bring light;

That where there is sadness, may I bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek to comfort, rather than to be comforted;

To understand rather than to be understood;

To love rather than to be loved;

For it is in giving that we are received; 

It is by forgiving that we are forgiven,

And it is by dying that we awaken to eternal life.

 

Late November Morning

It is late November here in NH... a time that should not allow for sitting on the deck swing in your bathrobe in the morning.  Yes... I was doing that this morning.
The kids are not awake yet (more perks of homeschooling!) and I'd gone outside with Piper and just sat for a bit.

Marveling that I could be outside without freezing or being bundled in blankets over my fleece bathrobe. Thankful for warmth.
I looked at the gray clouds rolling across the sky behind the trees - mostly bare of leaves now. Thankful for vision.
Listening to the sounds of the river rushing madly over the falls behind our home. Thankful for hearing.
Watching a neighbor meander down the road with his dog.  Thankful for our home in a good neighborhood.
Seeing a bird flutter to rest on another naked tree (you can barely see him in the center).  Thankful for the creation as a gift.

Pausing to thank God that my children are still upstairs sleeping as the sound of a school bus roared along the road.  Thankful for homeschooling.
Anticipating a day of learning as I look forward to a quilting class this afternoon.  Thankful for Steve thinking it's a worthwhile pursuit of my time and this opportunity.
Seeking clarity from the Lord for concerns that weigh heavy this morning.  Thankful to be able to bring all things to His throne.
Thanking Him for being my Jehovah Shalom (the Lord is Peace), Jehovah Shammah (the Lord is There), and Jehovah Jireh (the Lord shall Provide).

I am most blessed - even in the hard things.

Blessings on the journey~

 

Being brave - out of my comfort zone - to link up on Emily's 'tuesday's unwrapped'

He Loves Me

I've been hearing this song by Sidewalk Prophets on the radio lately and the reality of how loved I am by God... when I don't deserve anything good ...is beyond amazing.  This morning I thought I'd share this video.  The lyrics are fabulous.

Our newest addition

We knew it would happen... we've been talking about it and praying about it for a while now.
J has been especially anxious.  She really wanted to find someone special, someone just about her age...a girl who had been waiting a while.... waiting to be chosen.
Today the Compassion bloggers all are traveling home from Guatemala.  We've read the posts, seen the photos & videos.
We've followed the journey. 
Along the way we've learned a lot. 
About Guatemala, about the bloggers, about Compassion International and why they do it all in Jesus' name.

On this journey God has stretched our hearts, softened them a bit more, cracked them wide open and seen the tears spill down all over the keyboard.
So today we did again what we did earlier this year... when another fabulous group had said 'yes' to Jesus and went to Africa while we watched from here in NH.
We grouped around the monitor and searched the pages of children from Guatemala in need of a sponsor. Searching for that special girl... the one J has been praying for... just about her age... waiting too long... and we chose her.

Isn't she beautiful?  Her name is Blanca Maria... she lives in the mountains of Coban, Guatemala and her birthday is just 7 days before J's.  She has been chosen ...or maybe it's us that was chosen...because Jesus chose us.
Is there someone that will chose you?  Let your heart be chosen...click here and change a life... it will change yours.
Blessings on the journey~

Our New Addition

This is Fred.  He is 6, though his birthday is Sunday and he'll be 7. He lives with his mother and 6 siblings in Kenya.  Two days ago, he became part of our family through our sponsorship with Compassion International. God has graciously allowed us to be a part of something special and the thought of it brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes as well.

This small boy has seen poverty that I can't begin to comprehend.  He has been hungry in a way my children here, snug in their beds, have never and will probably never know.  Now there is hope.  He has been chosen! After waiting more than 6 months for a sponsor through the Compassion program.

But you know what?  We were the ones chosen.

God chose us.

He is allowing us to do something real.  This has been a prayer of mine for months now... that somehow, in some small way, God would make me useful for His purposes. He is answering that prayer.

Our God loves us all so much.  He wants so much to let us be part of His plans.  He wants to grow us, change us, and pour out His blessings on us in ways we can't even begin to imagine.  Two days ago I felt that in a powerful way and it is carrying forward in my heart in a way that is difficult to express.

So often I feel that I live this pampered, sheltered life.  My version of "hard" is having a long "to do" list that includes too much laundry, having to grocery shop yet again in spite of the cabinet full of food in my kitchen, and a house to clean.  Fred's mother probably lives in a house that is about the size of my youngest child's bedroom - with 7 children to care for daily.  Talk about a slap of reality.

I have been reading the posts of the 6 people (bloggers) who are on a trip with Compassion right now to Kenya.  I have seen a glimpse of that world.  It terrifies me and fascinates me.  One blog had a video clip of a sponsored child - who has grown up

My heart broke with joy and tears rolled down my face as these men hugged and cried.  Compassion works.  Lives change because of Christ and how He uses people like me - like you - to make a difference in the life of a child around the globe.

Think about it.... pray about....DO something amazing! 

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Hope - and a chance to Help

I have been following the journey of a group of bloggers who have partnered with Compassion International on a trip to Kenya.  You can read about it by clicking on the individual photos of the 6 different bloggers here. This is powerful stuff and God is using it to soften my heart that is often hard about things.
He is breaking my heart over some of this... pushing me gently to give out of the abundance with which He has blessed our family.  J & B are praying with me about sponsoring a child and I've asked Steve to pray about it as well - literally JUST sent him an email with links to some of the guys blog posts.  They are making me cry as I read what God can do through a few dollars.  He is so awesome!
This is a way to be Jesus' hands in giving to those who live in far greater need than we can imagine.
I feel so selfish... I complain that milk & bread prices go up 10 cents when these people may never even SEE bread & milk at the same time.  I am ashamed.  Jesus calls us to love the least of these... I haven't.  I pray for forgiveness and that He will give me His heart, His eyes, His hands.