Beginning More Lines

I am one of those readers who makes notes and copies down lines when I read something that I'm trying to study.  I find it helpful to use the old fashioned method of paper & pen (or pencil) to write things out long-hand to drive home points that touch me as I read.  This series of posts will be a collection of the notes, quotes, lines, etc. from my reading of the book by John Ortberg, Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them.  This is just one of several books I have read, am reading and have stacked up to read  - all relating to living life as part of God's community of believers and the world at large.  This is a journey of discovery and change and is, quite honestly, hard & painful at times.

So ... here goes.

Part 1: "Normal: There's No Such Thing, Dear"
Ch. 1: The Porcupine's Dilemma
"To make a start where we are, we must recognize that our world is not normal, but only usual at present." ~Dallas Willard

p.14  When you deal with human beings, you have com to the 'as-is' corner of the universe. We are tempted to live under the illusion that somewhere out there are people who are normal. When we enter relationships with the illusion that people are normal, we resist the truth that they are not. One of the great marks of maturity is to accept the fact that everybody comes 'as-is'. 

p. 15  Of course, the most painful part of this is realizing that I am in the 'as-is' department as well.  ... the writers of Scripture insist that no is "totally normal" - at least not as God defines normal. (see Isaiah 53:6 and Romans 3:23) 

p. 16 Because we know in our hearts that this is not the way we're supposed to be, we try to hide our weirdness.  Everyone of us pretends to be healthier and kinder than we really are; we all engage in what might be called "depravity management."

p. 18  And yet... the yearning to attach and connect, to love and be loved, is the fiercest longing of the soul.

p. 19  "The natural condition of life for human beings is reciprocal rootedness in others." ~Dallas Willard

p. 20 "Whoever cannot stand being in community should beware of being alone." ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

p. 25  This is a book about how imperfect people like you and me can pursue community with other imperfect people.

So it begins... and I have the strong sense that I'm going to learn a lot.  There are personal reflection questions at the end of each chapter, which I'm attempting to answer for myself in my journal, but I'm not willing to share here on the blog.  Some things are private and the internet is most definitely not.

Blessings on the journey~

Some reading

So... I've been doing some reading... not a news flash to anyone who knows me.  I read a lot ~ not as much as some but way more than many.
In the past few weeks I've been reading these:

Which I mentioned here and can be purchased here.

bought from here

bought from here

J has also read the last two (Interrupted & 7) and has loved them to the point of not really wanting me to loan them out because she wants to re-read them.

The focus of all of these is living and loving like Jesus did and as He commanded - up close and personal with "the least of these".  It is about living our faith (see the book of James) and walking the walk that matches the talk.  Not the typical American version of Christianity in most places and not an easy thing for most of us living the average American life.  I have been so impacted that it is hard to sort out at the moment and find my family on a journey to really figure out what Jesus is calling us to do/change/be.
This also follows with the book Radical that I read last year. 

We have begun a family study of the book of James - yep, we're our own 'small group'.  I'm anxious to see how God is going to use this time together in Scripture, the books, much prayer, and some willing hands & feet.
The journey may not be swift or comfortable, but following Jesus is absolutely worth it and I know that we will all be different moving forward.  Jesus loves us far too much to leave us as He found us.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

That sounds like a promise to me... and I am seeking with all my heart.

Blessings on the journey~

Chapter 2: A Word to Live...and Die By

Trying a different format for this chapter.  First I will write out the questions from the reader's guide, then I will share my notes for those questions.  

   1. A terrifying nightmare in which Ann dreams she is dying of cancer becomes a catalyst that helps her realize how much she really wants to live.  How do you generally respond to your dreams?  Do you write them down and ponder them, or do you not pay much attention to them?  If you have ever had a dream or nightmare you felt was especially significant, describe the dream and the impact it had on you.

   2.  Ann describes three ways we can experience life: as empty nothingness, as fully alive, and as a life in between (p. 27).  As you reflect back over the years, briefly describe a time you experienced life in each of these three ways.  Where do you think you are in experiencing life right now & why?  

   3. Studying the word eucharisteo helped Ann to identify "holy joy" as the "more" she had been seeking (p 32).  What do you think might be the key to unlocking your desire for a fuller life right where you are and in the midst of your ordinary days?

   4. The author recalls stories from Jesus' life that illustrate the power of eucharisteo, of thanksgiving; The Last Supper, the raising of Lazarus, the condemnation of Korazin and Bethsaida (pp 34-37).  When considering the context of these stories, we discover that Jesus is within ours of his own death, is grieved by the death of a dear friend, and is rejected by entire towns that experienced his miracles.

• Why do you think Jesus chooses to offer thanks at such times
• How does Jesus' use of gratitude in difficult circumstances inform or challenge your view of what it means to give thanks to God?

   5. Together, allow a moment of silence to identify a few of the difficulties you face right now.  When everyone is ready, discuss these questions:

• What thoughts or emotions come to mind when you think about expressing thanks in the context of your difficulties?
• "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God" (Psalm 50:23).  What would it mean for you to make a sacrificial thank offering in the midst of your current challenges?  How do you imagine God could use your sacrifice of gratitude to deliver you, to help you enter into a full life?

My Notes:

1. Dreams - reaction varies - a nightmare usually causes me to pray hard when I wake, though sometimes I also reach out for Steve if the subject of the nightmare is harm to the kids or to him.  Other dreams I sometimes ponder for meaning.  Generally I don't put a lot of weight into dreams, but see the benefit of being aware of what my brain may be focusing on in sleep - if there is something of deep concern, etc.

2.  Empty:  The years of loss due to miscarriage & infant death - terrifying nothingness.  The years of constant moving - searching for something to fill a void - would be years of in-between probably.  Now is my time of full - growing - life!  Embracing my roles of wife, mother & friend.  Finding newness in things as gifts, joys ~ even in the hard & scary things.  God is showing me how real He is in my looking, watching & seeing... and even more in my obedient following of Him daily.

3.  This was the beginning - the turning point.  Looking for the gifts.  With much reading of scripture then came a better grasp of grace (reading Grace for the Good Girl helped with that also) - living the love - as the loved.  There is amazing freedom there and that brings me such joy!  Then came the realization of the need to live my faith horizontally as well as vertically (David Platt's book Radical spoke to me here as did the book of Isaiah and Jesus' teaching from the gospels & the book of James).  There is a huge element of being a Christian - a true follower of Christ - that requires us to live our faith outwardly in a horizontal direction - first for me to my family (Steve & the kids) and then to the members of our church family and into the community & world at large.  Like ripples in a pond.  Ever widening circles of love & influence for God's glory.

4.  Re-reading these passages of scripture was eye-opening for me.  Perhaps they were meant as a demonstration for us - that in the face of the awful, the unthinkable, the unbearable pains of life - we are to thank God for whatever it is that the situation must be for His glory to manifest.  For His purpose - even if we can't know or understand right in the moment.  Perhaps if we can be truly thankful for things - we become the miracle?  Thinking here of people at funerals whose faith is steadfast and they rejoice in the gain (seeing Christ) of the loved one instead of wallowing in their own loss.  When grace is poured into us - we are filled by Jesus' love - this is the full life.

5.  I have no notes for this one... I'm not sure how to interpret the 'sacrificial' part...  Or maybe I already answered part of this is the notes for question 4.

Standard of Grace

Today I stepped way, way out of my comfort zone. 
And shockingly... I didn't die.  I didn't even throw up.  
Yay me!
Actually... Yay God!  Because it was only by His grace that today happened and the really awful part didn't happen (that would be the throwing up part). :-) 
I found this graphic and thought it was perfectly marvelous and so timely for me today!
Today was good... and hard... and terrifying... but mostly good.  And the parts that I'm so certain weren't so good - in my head (at the moment- in my insecurities) - and that didn't go as I'd planned, etc.  Those are still okay... because no one else knows what was in my head or plans.  ;-)
It was my expectations of me... and those all sort of fell apart as I sat around the table this morning with this completely amazing group of women. 
Nine of them and I was so scared! 
But they were so gracious, so thoughtful, sometimes funny, and so genuine & real... their faces and hearts smiling.  Words came... ideas were shared... some scriptures were read - though not as many as I'd had written out on pages of notebook paper and bookmarked in my bible.  
God was there... I'm sure of it. 
He meets us where we are... in the messy, in the scary, in the hard... and walks alongside holding our hands or simply carrying us fully in His loving embrace. 

And I am so thankful.

Blessings on the journey,

Falling Down and Up

When was the last time you fell down?

I mean really fell down - as in skinned hands & knees, limping home with tears in the corners of your eyes.  Were you 6 or 7 and pushed your bike home sniffling and thinking angry thoughts at the two-wheeled death trap that had caused your pain...vowing to never-ever ride again? At least not until well after mom had tortured you with some soap & water and maybe antiseptic spray and a few bandages. Remember those times?

I fell down yesterday.... and at my age and current level of non-fitness, it was a spectacularly UN-graceful fall that resulted in not only the aforementioned skinned hands & knees but a lovely cut right across the bridge of my nose.  Yes - I managed a face-plant into the pavement!  Now that takes some talent when all you are doing is walking the dog. Seriously....who falls down and hurts themselves like that walking the dog on a nice, faux-spring day?
Answer:  Me.
Well... I'm sure that other people manage some pretty dandy injuries doing some other non-dramatic things as well, but I'm considering that I may have a unique talent in this area.  I don't hurt myself often, (and I don't consider myself klutzy at all), but when I do hurt myself... they tend to be pretty awful and painful injuries doing mundane and normal things.  At Christmas this year I threw my back out while tying the lace on my slipper.  Several years ago I sliced my finger open  - with my wedding ring - while I was simply closing a storm door.  Can't say that I don't have my talents.

As for the "up" part?  That was afterwards...
When I fell, I was out with Piper alone and we were about a half-mile or so from home.  So I dusted myself off best I could - not realizing that the bridge of my nose was bleeding (I just knew my face hurt & a nasty headache had begun) - and we headed back home...slowly... limping a little... and yes, there were a few tears in the corners of my eyes and I was almost tempted to think angry thoughts at the dog for tripping me.  But as we made our way along ... there was a warm breeze, the sun was glorious and the sky....oh the sky!  The most gorgeous blue!
All of a sudden I felt a smile... really... it was pretty funny.  I'm almost 42... I was walking the dog on a nice day.... and I face-plant on the side of the road?  Seriously?   You can laugh...  It is really pretty ridiculous!

Before I fell, I'd been thinking about a new book study I'm going to be starting in a week.  It's something that I've felt that God wants me to do for quite a while and when the opportunity was offered, I said yes.  Willingly, but with lots of insecurity. 
As I walked... I was thanking God for the gifts of the day and then I started thinking a bit about the study, then I started to worry about how I was not equipped to lead this particular group of women.  Really... I bet lots of these women have forgotten more about scripture than I will ever know.  They've served God for years (here and abroad), finished college, are smart, talented, gifted & accomplished and they have some style! What am I thinking that I'm going to offer them?
And then -  WHAM!  I fell.  Concentration shattered - focus shift onto my immediate pain & minor embarrassment (a total stranger saw me fall). 
But as I was going home....the sky and sunshine... gifts from the God who loves me so much.  I could be thankful to God for those gifts even with my skinned hands/knees and aching face.
Why?  Because they were there... and I chose to see them as gifts. 

And the study?  It isn't about me!  I don't HAVE to be equipped!  Okay... maybe that doesn't make sense. But this verse popped into my head while I was washing blood off my nose...
2 Corinthians 12:9   But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

People, you don't get much weaker feeling than lying on your face on the side of the road. 
This study group opportunity is one that God has given me... He has a reason and He knows all about me. He must have a plan.  And because I said 'yes' to doing this.... He will use me  - somehow... perhaps in spite of myself.  Only because the deepest desire of my heart is to be useful for His purposes and to bring Him glory.... and I said 'yes'.  Stepping really far outside my comfort zone to do something that makes my throat tight but my heart leap with anticipation of joy.  I am so excited to see what is going to happen in the coming weeks!  God is going to do .... stuff!  And He is letting me be part of it!
I am so thankful to see this gift... and am looking forward to counting all the ones to come.

Blessings on the journey~

(Walk carefully!)