Spring Flowers

With the exception of the white carnations - these came from the yard to grace the table yesterday for our Easter dinner.  They make me smile.

Hot Cross Buns

I tried something new today!

Hot Cross Buns

I have never eaten a Hot Cross Bun before, but after seeing a post over at The Frugal Girl a few days ago, I decided to give it a go.  Of course in my typical style, I had to tweak it a bit. :-)
I doubled the cinnamon and skipped the cardamon (I don't even know what that spice is!).  I also left out the raisins because no one here likes them.

Actually I doubled the whole recipe and made 3 dozen of them!  So I have a some to give away to the neighbors or maybe I will take some to the Easter breakfast at church.
They are really yummy!  Of course we didn't eat them hot... had to wait for them to cool to put the frosting on them.  The kids all gave them 2 thumbs up!

I will definitely make these again!

Can I be 'barefoot'?

I am reading this book right now...slowly.

Barefoot Church by Brandon Hatmaker.  I say I'm reading it slowly because there is a lot to absorb and process.  For example: "We can try to argue that our actions and words function independent of one another, with out consequence. But one thing is for certain: our observers never separate the two."  (sorry I can't reference a page - I have it on my kindle).

I honestly think this book is one of those that God could use (like David Platt's book Radical) to really change me... but only if I am willing to be changed.  I am willing and that scares the stuffing out of me... and probably my family too. :-) 
Being willing to serve and proclaim... both in unity.  To reach out to the 'least' in love as Jesus did and to do so honestly in faith.  To move away from what I have always experienced & known in my American suburban 'church' experience to live what Jesus really taught as how to live as the body of Christ in action - the church.  It doesn't seem that it ought to be such a stretch, but it is in most cases as far as my personal experience has been.  We serve as an 'event' instead of a way of life.  I'm pretty sure that wasn't what Jesus had in mind.

I have a few more on my 'to read' stack (7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess and Interrupted - both by Jen Hatmaker)  - actually I have  HUGE stack to read... but those have migrated to the top of the stack.

I have so much to learn...and then to do.  I have to be willing to say "Here am I, send me."  Isaiah 6:8



Blessings on the journey~

One Orange Cat

In December (2011) we adopted an adorable orange kitten - mostly for J, but we all love her.  Saffron joined us and was so cute and snuggly we could hardly contain ourselves.

 So tiny & cute!

In January she managed to do something that I didn't think cats could do - she fell and broke her leg.  Requiring surgery, and lots of extra TLC and work for J.

 Bad haircut!

Isn't she pitiful with her cone and having to be caged?

So fast forward to the end of March.  Saffron is now 6 months old and full of personality... or perhaps just attitude.  She has 2 speeds, FAST and OFF.  She is either going full-tilt tearing around the house into everything or she is flopped someplace sleeping.  She seems to take little notice of us unless she wants a lap to lie on or food. 

 Saffron LOVES the heat vent

She tackles Grace whenever she finds the opportunity - which to a civilized fluffy cat is dreadfully undignified and results in somersaults and hissing in the youngster's direction.  Sometimes it will result in Saffron being pinned down and forcibly bathed by Grace in seeming punishment for such disrespectful actions.  It's pretty funny to watch them.
But they do seem to love one another and we often find them curled up on the bed or on top of the little kitty-condo.

Everything is a toy to Saffy.  She loves to bat around anything that she can find, running, crashing into things and making a racket generally.  She loves to play in plastic bags & boxes.  Sits in front of my computer monitor and bats at the cursor as it moves across the screen.  Over & under, in & out, up & down - she is a very busy kitty! 

6 months old

We love this crazy orange cat.

Chapter 2: A Word to Live...and Die By

Trying a different format for this chapter.  First I will write out the questions from the reader's guide, then I will share my notes for those questions.  

   1. A terrifying nightmare in which Ann dreams she is dying of cancer becomes a catalyst that helps her realize how much she really wants to live.  How do you generally respond to your dreams?  Do you write them down and ponder them, or do you not pay much attention to them?  If you have ever had a dream or nightmare you felt was especially significant, describe the dream and the impact it had on you.

   2.  Ann describes three ways we can experience life: as empty nothingness, as fully alive, and as a life in between (p. 27).  As you reflect back over the years, briefly describe a time you experienced life in each of these three ways.  Where do you think you are in experiencing life right now & why?  

   3. Studying the word eucharisteo helped Ann to identify "holy joy" as the "more" she had been seeking (p 32).  What do you think might be the key to unlocking your desire for a fuller life right where you are and in the midst of your ordinary days?

   4. The author recalls stories from Jesus' life that illustrate the power of eucharisteo, of thanksgiving; The Last Supper, the raising of Lazarus, the condemnation of Korazin and Bethsaida (pp 34-37).  When considering the context of these stories, we discover that Jesus is within ours of his own death, is grieved by the death of a dear friend, and is rejected by entire towns that experienced his miracles.

• Why do you think Jesus chooses to offer thanks at such times
• How does Jesus' use of gratitude in difficult circumstances inform or challenge your view of what it means to give thanks to God?

   5. Together, allow a moment of silence to identify a few of the difficulties you face right now.  When everyone is ready, discuss these questions:

• What thoughts or emotions come to mind when you think about expressing thanks in the context of your difficulties?
• "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God" (Psalm 50:23).  What would it mean for you to make a sacrificial thank offering in the midst of your current challenges?  How do you imagine God could use your sacrifice of gratitude to deliver you, to help you enter into a full life?

My Notes:

1. Dreams - reaction varies - a nightmare usually causes me to pray hard when I wake, though sometimes I also reach out for Steve if the subject of the nightmare is harm to the kids or to him.  Other dreams I sometimes ponder for meaning.  Generally I don't put a lot of weight into dreams, but see the benefit of being aware of what my brain may be focusing on in sleep - if there is something of deep concern, etc.

2.  Empty:  The years of loss due to miscarriage & infant death - terrifying nothingness.  The years of constant moving - searching for something to fill a void - would be years of in-between probably.  Now is my time of full - growing - life!  Embracing my roles of wife, mother & friend.  Finding newness in things as gifts, joys ~ even in the hard & scary things.  God is showing me how real He is in my looking, watching & seeing... and even more in my obedient following of Him daily.

3.  This was the beginning - the turning point.  Looking for the gifts.  With much reading of scripture then came a better grasp of grace (reading Grace for the Good Girl helped with that also) - living the love - as the loved.  There is amazing freedom there and that brings me such joy!  Then came the realization of the need to live my faith horizontally as well as vertically (David Platt's book Radical spoke to me here as did the book of Isaiah and Jesus' teaching from the gospels & the book of James).  There is a huge element of being a Christian - a true follower of Christ - that requires us to live our faith outwardly in a horizontal direction - first for me to my family (Steve & the kids) and then to the members of our church family and into the community & world at large.  Like ripples in a pond.  Ever widening circles of love & influence for God's glory.

4.  Re-reading these passages of scripture was eye-opening for me.  Perhaps they were meant as a demonstration for us - that in the face of the awful, the unthinkable, the unbearable pains of life - we are to thank God for whatever it is that the situation must be for His glory to manifest.  For His purpose - even if we can't know or understand right in the moment.  Perhaps if we can be truly thankful for things - we become the miracle?  Thinking here of people at funerals whose faith is steadfast and they rejoice in the gain (seeing Christ) of the loved one instead of wallowing in their own loss.  When grace is poured into us - we are filled by Jesus' love - this is the full life.

5.  I have no notes for this one... I'm not sure how to interpret the 'sacrificial' part...  Or maybe I already answered part of this is the notes for question 4.

Psalm 73

A Psalm of Asaph.

 Truly God is good to Israel,
    to those who are pure in heart.
² But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,
    my steps had nearly slipped.
³  For I was envious of the arrogant
    when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

⁴ For they have no pangs until death;
    their bodies are fat and sleek.
⁵ They are not in trouble as others are;
    they are not stricken like the rest of mankind.
⁶ Therefore pride is their necklace;
    violence covers them as a garment.
⁷ Their eyes swell out through fatness;
    their hearts overflow with follies.
⁸ They scoff and speak with malice;
    loftily they threaten oppression.
⁹ They set their mouths against the heavens,
    and their tongue struts through the earth.
¹⁰ Therefore his people turn back to them,
    and find no fault in them.^[a]
11 And they say, “How can God know?
    Is there knowledge in the Most High?”
¹² Behold, these are the wicked;
    always at ease, they increase in riches.
¹³ All in vain have I kept my heart clean
    and washed my hands in innocence.
¹⁴ For all the day long I have been stricken
    and rebuked every morning.
¹⁵ If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
    I would have betrayed the generation of your children.

¹⁶ But when I thought how to understand this,
    it seemed to me a wearisome task,
¹⁷ until I went into the sanctuary of God;
    then I discerned their end.

¹⁸ Truly you set them in slippery places;
    you make them fall to ruin.
¹⁹ How they are destroyed in a moment,
    swept away utterly by terrors!
²⁰ Like a dream when one awakes,
    O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.
²¹ When my soul was embittered,
    when I was pricked in heart,
²² I was brutish and ignorant;
    I was like a beast toward you.

²³ Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
    you hold my right hand.
²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will receive me to glory.
²⁵  Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
²⁶  My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

²⁷ For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
    you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
²⁸ But for me it is good to be near God;
    I have made the Lord God my refuge,
    that I may tell of all your works.

Finishing Chapter 1

Sorry to have been so long getting back to finish this chapter.

Readers Guide Question: Ann describes how the death of her sister "tears a hole in the canvas of the world" (p. 16) and later writes, "I wonder... if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop... might actually become a places to see.  To see through to God" (p. 22).  Is this a metaphor you find intriguing, comforting, or disturbing?  How do you understand it in light of your own experiences of loss?

My notes: I find the metaphor both intriguing and somewhat comforting.  I often think lately that our 'comfortable' American life has insulated us and isolated us from God.  A very dear friend, (who has served as a missionary in a very poor country), once told me that living in a third-world country makes God more real - in a way that He isn't here to us in the States.  In a place of utter lack - you trust God and see Him more clearly simply because He is all there is.  When our lives are torn open - He is the one who is real.  There in the deepest pain - even when we sometimes refuse to know that He is there.  Perhaps - it is in the torn places that we can see because God seems nearer when we don't have barriers of other comforts & distraction?

RG Question: The author's narrative is rich with vivid phrasing and evocative imagery.  What lines or descriptions stand out for you?  Why do you find them to be powerful?

My notes: p 16 "Do we ever think of this busted-up place as the result of us ingrates, unsatisfied, we who punctured it all with a bite? The fruit's poison has infected the whole of humanity.  Me. I say no to what He's given."

and

p 21 "...raw and real, stripped of any theological cliche, my exposed, serrated howl to the throne room."  snip "And I see.  At least a bit more. When we find ourselves groping along, famished for more, we can choose."

This is me... admitting honest & real.   Laying myself open to the reality of how far I fall short of the Sunday morning smile - how much I need Jesus every single day.  How I desperately need his grace pouring - thundering down on me most days.  And how I can choose - choose to live this life, choose to see the grace each day.
And the thesis of the entire book p 23 "A dare to an emptier, fuller life."  Take the dare... journey with me as I explore the truths God has given me through Ann's book.


Blessings on the journey~